A Letter for my baby

(**Warning - Very Long**)

Dear Daughter,

I feel so incredibly blessed to be your Mom. Even after only two very short years, you have made my life so incredible. I remember the hours before you were born as if it were yesterday. On Saturday, your Dad and I had a quiet day at home (avoiding the Hotlanta Heat) with a brief visit from my family that afternoon. Early in the evening I told your Dad that I was beginning to feel some strong contractions. After a false alarm 10 days before, we wanted to be sure that "this was it". We took a little walk around the neighborhood and decided to call the doctor when we got back. They told us to come on in, so we grabbed our bags and the car seat and headed out of our front door, hoping the next time we walked through it, you would be in our arms. We checked in the hospital around midnight and got situated in our room and listened your heartbeat on the monitor. I was only 2 cm dialated and the doctor told us that it would be probably around noon on Sunday before you would make your grand entrance, so we decided we would wait to call our families so they could get a good nights sleep. Well, little girl, you had other plans. At 6:30 a.m., the doctor checked me and we were ready to push! I couldn't believe it! You gave Mommy a sweet gift by being so ready to go, that I only had to push for 6 minutes. Your Dad and I were in complete awe when you came out at 7:53 a.m. on Sunday morning, September 3rd. Other than your cries, the room was silent. I wanted to just breathe in the moment and capture every single movement in my mind. You were perfect, as far as I was concerned. After they cleaned you up, they brought you to me and I was so overwhelmed. I couldn't believe that God would entrust such a miracle to me. As I tucked you in the crook of my arm and bent the blanket back to get a better look at you, you turned your head towards my face and we had a little unspoken conversation.

I made you a promise that I will always be there for you. When others may fall away, I will remain. Your dreams will be my dreams. Your sadness will be my sadness. Your aches will be my aches. I will rejoice with you in your joys and I will cry with you when your heart is broken. I will be your biggest advocate and your secrets will always be safe with me. When you fall down, I will be there to pick you up and dust you off and encourage you to try again. I will be there when you meet the love of your life and when you walk down the aisle to take those holy vows of love. I'll be there when your babies are born. And most importantly, I will be there when you meet your Savior.

We have continued to have those unspoken conversations since that day. On the days when my energy is lacking and I am so tired, you look at me with those expectant eyes and wry grin, as if you are telling me that you know I have some energy deep down inside to draw from to play with you. Those moments that you look at me when you are doing something you are not supposed to do and all it takes is a look from me and you move on to play with something else. Our eyes hold a secret language that's just for you and me, and I hope that is alway the case.

As much as I loved you the moment you were born, that love continues to grow everyday. As I watch you grow into your own little person, I am amazed at all the nuances and traits you have inherited from your Dad and I. To see this little person walking around with my eyes and your Dad's inquisitive glance, I am in utter awe. You are an amazing little girl, and as badly as I want to be your friend, I know that now is not the time for that. I know, through my own relationship with my mother, that day will be down the road and I also look forward to that time. There will be days that you won't like me very much, but my love for you will never change. Other than your heavenly Father, no one will love you more than I do.



Love,
Mommy